Don’t ever sign up for Real Rhapsody…ever. I just got off the phone with them, and I can honestly say I was never so glad to be rid of something in my entire life. First of all, they lure you in with a 14-day free trial. Which sounds cool, but what does it let you do? First you must download a separate player. It doesn’t integrate into realplayer (made by the same people), which is stupid. Then, all you’re ever allowed to do, is listen to music, on your computer. You can’t take it with you in the car, you can’t pop it into your stellar home theatre system. You can’t even put it in a discman. No, it stays on the computer…unless you pay them more money. Now this would seem normal, since it’s only a free trial. Nope, that’s the way it works, even when you’re paying $9.99 a month. So if you actually want to burn a CD of the music, you must pay them for each song you burn. So why would I switch from iTunes? I wouldn’t. End of story? No, I’ve only just begun.

So I wanted to cancel my account. The player directs me to their website, I click on Customer Support, and then Cancel My Account. It directs me to a form. I have to tell them why I don’t like their service. So I do, and it gives me a phone number. Well, I don’t have time to call today, I’ll do it later. Oops. Three weeks later I remember that I wanted to cancel, but I’ve already been billed. No email reminders, no billing statement. Nothing. Great. So I’ll cancel anyway. Go back to the web form to get their phone number. It no longer works. Asks me why I want to cancel, and then gives me the same page except with no phone number. After going through much hassle, I finally got the number.

It gets worse. I called them. Pressed 2 for Rhapsody support. 1 for cancelling an account. Then ‘please hold…’ For what seemed like an eternity, I listened to the worst music ever, in short loops. And it would stutter, and make you think they were answering finally. But it was all a huge hoax. When a lady finally answered, she was really loud (I had already turned the volume down because of the hold music) and I could hardly understand her because of her thick accent. And then she asked how she could help me. Pretty sure I pressed 1 for cancelling an account. Then we played 20 questions. But I got bored, and just wanted the account cancelled, so I went off on a rant about how much I hated Real. So then she decided that it would make things better if she offered me a free month of their service. I just want my account cancelled. We can give you a free month. Have you cancelled my account yet? We’d gladly give you a free month. Pleeeeease cancel my account. Ok, it’s cancelled, just remember that you can buy songs through Rhapsody for 99 cents each without any committment. And through all this, she had the nerve to tell me that it was taking a while to process, so that’s why she was keeping me busy with questions and special offers. And when I tried to tell her that the website was broken, she said it was something to do with wanting to better serve their customers.

I love you iTunes…hold me…